ana vidovic in korea <3

sheep may safely graze

my student passed his n level maths :) i think he got 16 marks for his prelims and during that period i was being arrowed to go to thailand for 1 month. but i managed to come back to give him some tuition before his n levels. and i am happy for him when he msg me to tell me about his grades. hopefully more good news will come.

recently i stopped my guitar lessons. the guy was unhappy when he heard i was not going to continue and he showed it. how unprofessional. i was sorely disappointed because learning the guitar was one of the few good things that happened in 2009. i will miss 'lugging' the guitar every thursday night from my old house to the marine parade area. it was one of the few things i look forward to every week, save the weekends. but i will continue playing and not let it affect me.

i found myself another guitar teacher and i went for a trial lesson. it was actually quite fun and i got a chance to play a duet. i would also love to try some ensemble playing but i don't think hes the teacher i am looking for. i want a teacher of bach and i was actually quite envious of the term 'brought up on bach'. Lol, i also want to be 'brought up on bach', but i think its very difficult to find teachers like that in classical guitar in sg. Piano would be easier, but theres also the cost considerations. so most probably i will continue with him when i can finally find a job and sort out my schedule.

We were waltzin' together to a dreamy melody
When they called out "change partners"
And you waltzed away from me
Now my arms feel so empty as I gaze around the floor
And I'll keep on changing partners
Till I hold you once more

Though we danced for one moment and too soon we had to part
In that wonderful moment something happened to my heart
So I'll keep changing partners till you're in my arms and then
Oh, my darlin' I will never change partners again

random things have happened during this period, some of which i experienced myself and some as an observer. They have affected me and caused mixed emotions.To the extent that i decide from now on i want to be a better person, although i think i am still very much the same me.

But i seek to be more sensitive, more forgiving to the people who care for me. In a subtle way. I want to be stronger and make them worry less for me.

Recently, some parents wanted my mum to give tuition to their kid everyday, cause they were busy with work. At first we thought the kid was autistic, cause she keeps to herself and barely talks, even to her parents. I even thought she was some child prodigy (she's very good in swimming and she likes swimming).

But she got more cheerful as the days pass. Once when she followed my mother to the market, i saw her chasing a bird. This image had a lasting impact on me cause the little girl we once thought was autistic was actually a very normal girl who loves computer games and fast food without the beans and coleslaw. This was one of the rare time i actually thought normal was beautiful. Or maybe its because i always wanted a little sister.

I think i can empathise with people who craves company. I have no lack of company when i was young such that now i like so much to be alone. But i have witnessed how much positive company can help a person open up and be normal. And sometimes being normal can bring about much happiness.

The passion and zeal for life, slowly but surely, its coming back. It died a long time ago but its coming back. Day by day, i am going to let myself out a little, so that i wont crumble under the pressure and each day i want to ask more from life.

Today, i experienced the joy of meeting a fellow Hwa Chongian in a job interview.

Also i was in office attire and it was raining and the roads were flooded. I was walking along the pavement when cars came brushing along, splashing the puddles of water on me. I used my umbrella to block the 'attack', but i was still wet from the rain. But i was not pissed, i was actually amused that i started laughing at myself, haha....

I AM ALIVE!!!!!

Its a weird feeling. I feel lost, but then i feel alive.

I have been dead for a long time and i just rose from the dead. I want to experience life again, deal with challenges, fight for a cause and experience beautiful things.

Life is short. I want to live life the way i want, like a king.